In Episode 148 of “The Trusted Advisor,” RSPA CEO Jim Roddy shares accounts of mistreatment of women at industry events and issues a call to action for male leaders to step up and ensure the retail IT channel is a safe and professional environment for everyone.
“The Trusted Advisor,” powered by the Retail Solutions Providers Association (RSPA), is an award-winning content series designed specifically for retail IT VARs and software providers. Our goal is to educate you on the topics of leadership, management, hiring, sales, and other small business best practices. For more insights, visit the RSPA blog at www.GoRSPA.org.
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Full episode transcript via Apple Podcasts:
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Roddy: Happy New Year, and welcome to another episode of The Trusted Advisor podcast and video series powered by the Retail Solutions Providers Association.
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Roddy: Our goal on the pod is to accelerate the success of today’s and tomorrow’s leaders in the retail IT industry.
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Roddy: I’m Jim Roddy back with you again.
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Roddy: Thank you so much for joining us.
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Roddy: Today is a solo episode where it’s just you and me talking leadership.
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Roddy: We like to call these Roddy Rants.
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Roddy: Now our other episodes will continue to feature leaders discussing their leadership journeys and what they’ve learned along the way.
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Roddy: Before I reveal today’s topic, a couple notes.
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Roddy: First, thanks to these channel-focused companies who support the RSPA community and make this podcast and video series possible.
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Roddy: Our gold sponsors are Blue Star, CoCard, Epson, Global Payments, Order Counter, and ScanSource.
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Roddy: Then also want to make sure you know to save the date for RetailNOW 2026, the Retail IT channel’s number one trade show, education conference and networking event.
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Roddy: This year’s event is set for July 26th through 28th at the New Caesars Forum Conference Center in Las Vegas.
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Roddy: For more information, visit gorspa.org/retailnow.
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Roddy: RetailNOW is where the industry meets.
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Roddy: My message today ties in with conferences and shows, and it’s directed at men who attend industry events, and especially men in the Retail IT channel, men who lead organizations, whether it’s a department, a small team, or an entire company.
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Roddy: Now, of course, anyone is welcome to listen to this episode, but I’m going to ask the men to take action at the end of this conversation today.
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Roddy: Now, we see more women than ever on stage and involved at Retail IT channel events, and for the first time ever, the RSPA board is majority women.
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Roddy: Significant progress has been made for sure.
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Roddy: Good for us, good for everyone in this industry for that progress.
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Roddy: But there’s something going on that you might not be noticing, and you need to pay attention to it if you’re a high character leader.
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Roddy: If you’re truly a leader who looks out for your people and wants the best for them, it’s something you need to pay attention to.
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Roddy: What you might not be noticing is that shows and conferences in our industry, some women are being mistreated by some men.
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Roddy: Now, I’m not saying all men are misbehaving, I’m saying some men are misbehaving and all us guys need to do something about it.
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Roddy: So this situation was brought to my attention during a show I attended recently.
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Roddy: Now, I’m going to share with you a few stories, real stories about what some women in our industry have been putting up with at shows.
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Roddy: And these are their words, there are six stories for you.
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Roddy: So first, the first story is while at an industry trade show, I sat at the bar with my boss discussing some of the meetings we had that day, when a man on the channel came up to where we were sitting.
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Roddy: I saw him trying to get the bartender’s attention, unsuccessfully because last call was 15 minutes prior.
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Roddy: I let him know that last call passed and that might be why he was being ignored by the bartender.
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Roddy: He turned to me and mentioned that he liked my dress while grabbing my dress at the knee and pulling it up.
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Roddy: The bartender saw this and kicked him out.
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Roddy: And as he was about to leave, he turned to me and said, I thought you were going home with me.
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Roddy: My attempt at being nice and letting him know why he was being ignored, turned into him thinking he had an invitation to grab me and say inappropriate things.
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Roddy: Here’s story number two.
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Roddy: While at dinner with a large customer of ours, one of the executive team member asked me who at the table I would sleep with, but asked that in more explicit words.
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Roddy: I responded that I’m happily married, so no one.
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Roddy: He then repeatedly pushed me to answer and ended the conversation with, so I guess not me?
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Roddy: Story number three.
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Roddy: I was working our booth and a male attendee said, what are you doing later?
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Roddy: I want to be wherever you are.
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Roddy: Now, I didn’t know this man at all, and I immediately felt on alert and wanted to make sure I avoided him throughout the conference.
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Roddy: Here’s the next story.
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Roddy: I attended a conference where I was introduced to a prospect that my team wanted to work with.
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Roddy: We had some productive discussions during the trade show and ran into each other at an evening event.
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Roddy: The event was at a unique location and we decided to grab a picture together with the venue behind us.
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Roddy: As we took the picture, the customer slipped his finger under the back of my underwear through my dress.
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Roddy: It put me in a position where I had to debate whether this could negatively impact my career if I told my team I didn’t want to work with this man.
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Roddy: Story number five.
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Roddy: One particularly individual, each time I see them at a show and they’d had a bit to drink, they hug me and rub my back.
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Roddy: It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable to the point where I check to see what travel events this person may be attending, and I avoid them as best I can.
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Roddy: What’s even more disheartening is how many people have witnessed this and never said anything to him or asked if I’m okay.
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Roddy: Here’s a final story that I’m going to share today.
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Roddy: As a woman in this industry, I feel the need to never let my guard down.
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Roddy: I feel that I have to be on alert at all times and can’t be friendly with people as they may take that as an invitation to be inappropriate.
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Roddy: I shouldn’t have to worry about this every time at an industry events.
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Roddy: Women have enough predatory concerns on a day-to-day basis.
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Roddy: These events should be safe places.
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Roddy: I agree with that last statement.
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Roddy: Events in our industry, in the Retail IT channel, should be safe spaces for everyone.
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Roddy: But the reality is, as you can see from those stories, they’re not.
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Roddy: Now, I’m sure a lot of guys can’t relate to any of these stories.
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Roddy: I’ve been attending industry events since 1999, so that’s over 25 years, and I’ve never had somebody grab me inappropriately or proposition me or shove their hand in my underwear.
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Roddy: I’m sure when a lot of guys hear these stories, they think, if anybody ever did that to me, I’d tell them where to go or I’d kick his butt.
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Roddy: Now, I actually have some insights into why I think most women don’t react with that response.
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Roddy: About 20 years ago, I had an experience that was really formative for me.
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Roddy: I served as a juror for a rape trial.
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Roddy: The story was two female friends in their 30s or 40s, they were bowling at their social club, and after bowling, they hung out at the bar talking with two guys.
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Roddy: One woman decided to leave because it was getting late, while her friend stayed to keep talking to one of the guys.
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Roddy: The one who’s leaving walks out to her car by herself, opens a door to her backseat to place her bowling bag, and suddenly she’s attacked by one of the two guys in the bar.
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Roddy: He rapes her in her car right there in the parking lot.
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Roddy: When the jury first gathered in the jury room after hearing all the testimony, the foreman asked for a straw poll, guilty or not guilty?
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Roddy: And it was eight guilty, four not guilty.
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Roddy: With those who voted not guilty, all of them were men.
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Roddy: Now, those guys said they didn’t believe the victim’s story.
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Roddy: They said, why didn’t she fight back?
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Roddy: Why didn’t she grab her bowling bag and have that big heavy ball in it and hit her attacker in the head?
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Roddy: Now, she had testified that she held on to her bowling bag handle as she was being raped.
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Roddy: Now, I thought they raised a good question and I didn’t have an answer as to why she would do that.
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Roddy: But several women in the jury were eager to answer.
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Roddy: They all said, because she didn’t want to get killed.
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Roddy: As a guy, that thought never crossed my mind.
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Roddy: I don’t know if it’s bravado or foolishness.
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Roddy: When guys get hit or attacked, they usually hit back, they fight.
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Roddy: But the women in that jury room taught me when the other person is significantly bigger, stronger or weighs more than you, has more power over you, fighting back could very well make it worse.
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Roddy: It could make it deadly.
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Roddy: Now, their perspective also made me think to my days back as a college, back when I played college basketball as a non-scholarship walk-on player.
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Roddy: Now, everyone on my team was taller than me, and everyone outweighed me by at least 30 pounds.
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Roddy: And most of the guys outweighed me by 60 or 70 pounds.
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Roddy: Now, I had two instances where a teammate started a physical altercation with me during practice, and I was in no position to fight back.
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Roddy: I mean, I was 5’10, 145 pounds.
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Roddy: What am I going to do to a guy who’s 6’5, 210?
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Roddy: Right?
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Roddy: Now, the thing is, I didn’t have to do anything because my other teammates stepped in for me.
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Roddy: They had my back.
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Roddy: They told the other guy knock it off, and the other guy did immediately.
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Roddy: So men, we need to be better teammates to our women in the channel.
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Roddy: We need to step up and have their backs.
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Roddy: This industry, the Retail IT channel, it’s a team game and life is a team sport.
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Roddy: We can’t leave anyone on their own when someone crosses the line.
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Roddy: Now, here are four actions we can take to be better teammates.
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Roddy: This is what I recommend.
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Roddy: Number one, if you’re doing any of what I described above, unwanted physical contact, sexual comments directed at a woman, anything that’s creepy or is one person called it’s smarmy conversation.
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Roddy: Even if you think it’s joking, I’m just kidding.
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Roddy: If you’re doing any of that, knock it off.
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Roddy: Number two, limit your alcohol consumption at trade shows.
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Roddy: Stay in control.
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Roddy: Many sexual assaults are committed by men who’ve had too much a drink.
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Roddy: Again, always stay in control.
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Roddy: Number three, be a proactive leader.
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Roddy: Tell the women in your organization that you have their back.
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Roddy: Be proactive by telling your female staff, you’ll have their back if anyone crosses the line with them, even if that person is your number one customer, your number one prospect.
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Roddy: I’ve done that here at RSPA.
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Roddy: I’ve done it in my prior leadership positions.
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Roddy: I encourage you to do that in your company as well.
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Roddy: Action number four, if you see something, say something.
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Roddy: I’m not suggesting you tackle the guy or anything like that.
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Roddy: If something isn’t right or even just doesn’t seem right, ask the woman, is everything okay?
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Roddy: Or ask, if everything isn’t okay, just let me know.
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Roddy: And don’t leave the area until you’re certain everything is okay.
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Roddy: Now, I remember the first time I learned that some men misbehave at industry events.
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Roddy: This is back when I was at Business Solutions Magazine.
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Roddy: Our team was leaving a show, walking back to the hotel through the convention center halls.
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Roddy: And we noticed that one of our coworkers, a female in her 20s, had got separated from our group.
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Roddy: So I volunteered to walk back and find her.
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Roddy: I figured she needed to use a restroom or she got a drink of water or something like that.
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Roddy: After a minute or so, I see her and she’s crying.
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Roddy: What happened was a guy had asked her a question, she stopped to answer, and then he cornered her and wouldn’t let her go where she wanted.
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Roddy: She resisted his advances and he finally gave up, but she was really shaken by what had happened.
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Roddy: I was flabbergasted.
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Roddy: I’m like, first, who does that?
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Roddy: And then secondly, who does that at a trade show?
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Roddy: And then like, who does that in public?
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Roddy: And so we caught up with our team and soon after, I shared what she told me with her boss, a woman who is also attending the show.
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Roddy: And while I was saying to her, I can’t believe this, she replied, Oh, I believe it.
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Roddy: And then she proceeded to tell me that the day before, the general manager of a large sponsor of ours, a married man with two young kids, he’s no longer in our industry.
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Roddy: I haven’t crossed paths with him in a long, long time.
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Roddy: He asked her to come up to his room.
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Roddy: She’d arrived at the show early and was at the hotel pool.
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Roddy: And the guy said to her something like, how about we go up to my room and see what’s under that towel?
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Roddy: Now these comments and actions by certain men place a burden on women in our industry, a 100% unnecessary burden.
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Roddy: Now there’s the moral thing of this, but then there’s also if we want to beat the 800 number guys, if we want to beat the companies that don’t believe in the channel, we need everyone in the channel at their best.
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Roddy: The channel needs everyone to thrive.
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Roddy: We need to be welcoming to women or they’ll leave for an industry that’s more welcoming.
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Roddy: That does it for this episode of The Trusted Advisor.
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Roddy: Our goal at the RSPA is to accelerate the success of our members, all our members in the retail technology ecosystem by providing knowledge and connections.
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Roddy: For more information, please visit our website at gorspa.org.
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Roddy: Thanks for listening and goodbye everybody.
